So, its been a pretty crazy year for all of us; and these past few months have been no exception with the move and a new baby. Needless to say, its been somewhat stressful, but mostly just busy. As the Mom of these two smiling little girls, I do my best (most days)...but it seems like these past few months they've taken a back-seat to all the craziness that has come our way and have received a little less than my best. There always seems to be something/someone else using every last minute and ounce of energy I have available. I'm sure I'm not the first Mom to ever come to the conclusion that she needs two more of herself to keep up. As much as I beat myself up over it though, I know that my best is all that God asks of me and that He has promised to help me through it. Never has that been more clear than this past week. I was reminded how God takes care of those He loves.Last summer Emma and I were on a walk and we passed by a big field of Sunflowers. She wanted to pick one and I told her we couldn't because they weren't ours to pick. I also told her that next summer we could plant some sunflowers in our yard so she could have her very own. Fast-forward to this spring, and all that the spring brought us: Emma asks about planting our sunflowers. I didn't know what to tell her. We were in the middle of New Baby craziness, a recent move, and with that a financial strain, so all thoughts of a garden fell to the wayside. I was thankful she dropped the subject, but I felt horrible...I mean really, a pack of seeds...surely, I could have found a dollar and 15 minutes it would take to get the suckers in the ground. Mostly though, I was afraid of how disappointed she would be when all the local fields were popping up with thousands of bright yellow sunflowers.
Not long after that, we received two little sunflower seedlings from my Aunt. I was so excited for the girls! Here was my answer. Thank you Lord for my green thumbed relatives! We brought them home and planted them right away in the front yard, watered them, and I threatened them within an inch of their lives to be careful and not step on them or run them over with their bikes. I almost cried the next day when one went missing. And then, after two days of 90+ degree weather, the other one croaked. Really? No break for a well-meaning Mom? Ugh. While it went unsaid, I wanted to shake my fist at heaven and say a few choice words...like it was God's fault, just wanting to blame someone for my own inadequacy. Surely He could have thrown a stressed out Mom a little bone and help her keep her promise to her little girl. Right?
A few weeks later, we drove past a big field of sunflowers and I was asked the dreaded question "can we stop and pick one?". I had to tell her no we couldn't because they are not ours...and I held my breath a little waiting for the follow-up I was dreading. Sure enough, Emma reminded me that I said we could grow our own. I fumbled my way through an apology and tried to explain, but she was pretty disappointed. Talk about a low moment...I brushed it off though, and chocked it all up for that "life is full of disappointments" life lesson we all eventually have to learn.
It wasn't long after that, a friend was over and she was "admiring" our weed garden that had sprouted up around the patio. Honestly, it wasn't until that moment that I actually stopped to really look it over. The weeds had grown taller than the girls in some places. Thistles everywhere. It did look pretty bad. It must have been, because she scrounged around in my garage for a pair of gardening gloves and went to work! Lol. Oh well. We decided that with all the hours I spend feeding Eliza, next year if I put even half that amount of time into a garden, it will rival Martha Stewart's! Well, she eventually came around to the side of the patio where the bird feeder was and had to stop. Had she kept going though, she would have pulled up all the little weeds that sprouted up right under the bird feeder. Tho
se 'weeds' eventually grew up and LOOK WHAT THEY TURNED INTO!!!! Amazing. Our little unintentional garden has not one, not two...but at the current count over 10 sunflowers that popped up right outside our picture window. A constant reminder. It was a big hug from heaven and almost like God was saying "I have your back". And He SO does. I don't know why I seem to forget that so often. Not only does He have my back, but He wants to bless me and my girls so much more than I can by myself. Had it been up to me, we would have had our two sunflowers and I would have been satisfied with that. With His help though, these things turn out oh so much better than I could have planned. This was such a sweet reminder that its so hard to be a good Mom (or a good anything) on my own."For nothing will be impossible WITH God" Luke 1:37
"Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, nor reap or gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?" Mathew 6:26
"And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love Him..." Romans 8:28
